Post Op Tales

I

Discharge report said ,’avoid cough’; so I sneezed!
And I died a quarter-millionth of a second and saw heaven ; only to realize that I had come back to hell.I could feel the upturn of organs inside and the stitch inside expanding like rubber band to hit back in the gut..All happening in slow -mo(to give u the effect).
Minor change in doc report – avoid cough and sneeze.

II

Gauze.Required for wound.Immediately. So I passed the message verbally to my dad’s driver. Dad sent him for the same a little while later since they were out.He comes back in half with a wide smile on his face saying,”I got two of it ,just in case.”
Poor guy thought he had actually done it right this time without my dad riding him up the wall while the rest of us at home had a fit of laughter checking out the set of Gloves he got me!!

III

After surgical ICU day,I was brought to hospital room to be under observation.I was heavily sedated and everything was a haze.I remember this happening for two straight days.No food,no water.Just IV fluids and a load of intravenous injections.The head nurse visited me everyday at regular intervals.She inquired with mom about my status,would motivate me to sit up at times etc.But there was one specific thing she wanted to know every time she came and I always had a negative response.Her inquiring made me wanna make it happen urgently because it meant I could start having soups,tea n liquid foods..
And it happened on the third night when my mom was fast asleep,tearing the silence of the room with a nasty smell and me grinning on the hospital bed like an excited child!!

IV

Fifth day after surgery,nurses were confident I could bathe with a little help.By then,they made sure I lost all my coyness around people; with all the early morning scrubs they gave me.Damn!Thankfully,there were no male nurses,so I was super confident around mom..And she helped me get water from bucket while I sat on toilet seat.(wondering now why they didn’t have seats for patients to sit and take a bath)Now this is a very stupid thing I did:I didn’t close the lid before I sat,thinking I might pee..And so we lost a Pears soap into the closet at the outset of the first bath after surgery.But I was more irked by the longest time I had to wait for a soap.

V

Beginning with an apology for making this post an emotional one.I have been on a wild ride,so bear with me.
Actually,lotta gratitude gushing in today with those damn mood swings.So here goes:

Heart swells with overwhelming gratitude when I remember my doctors,for being so warm and gentle and being extremely patient with my irritating and dumb doubts.
Shout-out to all the nurses ,and canteen fellas who made sure I got my daily doses of injections ,meds,soups,tea and fresh fruit juices all on time.
Appreciate all my friends and relatives who kept a check on me,who took out time to visit me and made me smile through it.
The 3 most important men in my life-though you guys had no clue about the things I had to go through,I am very glad you gave moral support in your own silly ways.
Above all, my mom for being such a rock solid support on my faltering days,not giving up on my fits of rage and for being a BADASS all at the same time! Salut!

 

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An extra mile,an extra long ismile.

I was beginning to wonder whether it was worth it that i took an extra mile for the people i took it.
An extra mile to see the smile of some of my favorite people.Setting aside my family.I no longer have those people around me to even share whats happening in my life.Why I did it in the first place,Was it a waste of time?Did I do it expecting it back like a kid?No.I did not expect.I wanted their acknowledgement of me being their friend.I wanted a strong bond that would last long.But it so went in vain most of the times,I have stopped trying.I cant bear the thought of losing a friend again.So,no extra mile for people I really like,and they complain that I dont care.:).Irony,I say.

!!!

I might as well graduate in foolishness.This is not the first time,its been recurring.I know I know,its like a recursive loop like a friend said.Grrrr!!!But will someone hit the escape button??I seem to have lost linearity of thoughts these days.And I also suffer from blank page syndrome.

Lowe Lowe Lowe ….

I had never given a valentine’s gift in my life.It made me feel nervous,jittery and more nervous.The anticipation of how the other person would react on getting my gift was filling me with endorphin levels that i never had i guess.I was starting to blush and a shy smile crossed my face when I  imagined the scenario.And I wanted to reach quickly…My impatience made me walk fast with the gift in hand.It was not an expensive gift…Just a bunch of red roses.I knew it would be perfect!Dint realise all the while I was walking that people were  looking at me and were giving me this knowing smile “you got valentine-d!”Being someone who never believed in celebrating valentine’s ,I couldnt believe what I was doing!!!Awwwwww!!!

At the door,I dint know how i was supposed to give the gift….Do i kneel down and say,’mmmm….!!’Say what???Say bloody what?????I did not see this coming…!!So I just knocked and stretched out the bunch of flowers and hid myself.The door opened,there was a “Oh my god“,”that looks amazing” and” I dont remember when I got a bunch of red roses before!!” I was thrilled.The gift worked.And I got the warmest hug ever from my first valentine.I think we are officially a couple now. 🙂

PMS!

Sulking at a corner
Her eyes rolled wide
To the lil things around
Picking on everyone she saw.

 
A soft touch dint simmer her down,
One harsh look dint do her good,
Friendly pushes made it worse
And food from foe got all the curse!

Tear.

Sometime back,a li’l while ago
There was a tear in my eye
A small li’l drop-
I let it float
To freeze it there
For a reason I cant fathom.

Lest it fall,
I knew I wont be the same,
I knew I wont be strong,
I knew I had to force it back ,
Into the corner of my eye.

joie de vi·vre!

I saw a reflection
Of  the bricks of my wall
On the screen of my core,
And I sniffed for a second
For the mess of my room.

A huffy accountant
And a sentient manager,
In the middle of it all,
Is the trifling officer in me,
Trying to cognize
The work of my fate.

Its the cold and snappy winds
The smell of dung
The orange of the jowars
The lustrous yellow of sunflowers
Oh,and the screeching rail lines
That maketh my world now.

Nostalgic birthdays
Of parties and drinks,
Drown into the school
Of a hungry hundred or two
Making sense into living-
A quarter of a life!

Lost.

I miss you.I shed a few tears for the time you gave me, for the time u spent to make me feel good,and I mean to  say so FRIKKIN’ GOOD!!! I wish I could talk to u.But thats the nuisance,I cant.I can no longer do that.Words are stuck at my throat.I wish I could give u a hug and stop u from going away.And I know that is my selfishness,yet that is what I want.This may not even reach you,may even reach you late.But I feel totally lost without you.